Can you legally marry us?

Currently, I can't do this, but that needn't effect your Wedding Day.

Many couples now choose to complete the legal marriage paperwork on a different day during a registrar-led ceremony with just their two witnesses. Statutory 'two by two' ceremonies (as they are known) are offered by local councils and slightly differ depending where you live. If you can't find details about them on your local council website, do give them a call and ask them to tell you about them. They tend to take place at the register office during the week. It is always nice to follow this with a champagne lunch!

For further advice about how to legally get married or become civil partners in England and Wales can be found on the following Government webpage

How are you different to a registrar?

As an independent celebrant, I am not restricted by marriage laws, so I can conduct your ceremony at whatever time and wherever you like. I will take time to get to know you so you can be sure that you ceremony has been written only for you. We can include any content you choose, for example a toast, religious blessings or a cocktail ceremony which would not be possible in the statutory ceremony.

You know that it will be me conducted your wedding celebrations on the day, whereas there is no guarantee which registrar is on duty on the day of your wedding.

I only conduct one ceremony a day, so if we need to start later for any reason, then that's absolutely fine. For more in depth information about the difference between independent celebrants, humanist celebrants and registrars, take a look at my blog.

What does a legal civil wedding ceremony include then?

Before you can legally marry or become civil partners, you must give notice at your local register office. You have to do this at least 29 days before your civil ceremony and take with you identification and various forms of paperwork, showing that you have lived in your registration district for over seven days. Your details will be displayed at the register office, so people are able to contest before your ceremony day if they wish (pretty much like you see in the films, 'Does anyone know of any law impediments....!)

An actual legal civil wedding ceremony can be short and sweet. At the statutory 'two by two', the registrars say some declaratory words, the couple must exchange legal vows and sign a schedule with two witnesses. Most councils offer some level of personalisation in wedding services, but legal registrar-led ceremonies must always comply with the law and so are still restrictive. For example, they can not include religion, they must be at licensed venues and when the registrars are available.

What is the difference between a marriage and a civil partnership?

Emotionally, it's about how a couple feel. Marriage it steeped in a patriarchal history - traditionally the bride is 'given away' by her father to her husband--be. Historically, there were dowries and the term 'husband and wife' flows much better off our tongues than 'wife and husband'. The wife tends to take her husband's surname. In a civil partnership, the emphasis is equality. Couples often choose to walk up an aisle together to represent this. They are known as partners and if they do decide to have the same surname, this will be thought about carefully. A name will be chosen to represent them both.

Legally, in England and Wales, couples can choose to between either legal marriage or civil partnership. A legal civil partnership ceremony differs from a legal civil wedding ceremony because only one registrar needs to be present and the couple don't need to exchange legal vows (but you can write your own if you choose). They do have to sign a schedule with their witnesses though.

What is a marriage schedule?

This is the updated 'signing of the register' within the civil ceremony. It was introduced in 2021 and is how a marriage or civil partnership is now legally recorded in the UK. There is now space for the details of four parents to be added, not just two (it used to just be the Dad's details that were included...). The schedule is signed by the couple, their two witnesses and the registrar during the ceremony; before being submitted onto an electronic database. A short while after this has been done, the couple will receive a certificate by post.

What types of ceremonies do you offer?

I am a trained independent celebrant and conduct all types of ceremonies to mark the milestones in your lives. Baby naming, adoptions and welcoming ceremonies, wedding celebrations, civil partnership celebrations, commitment ceremonies, vow renewals, true naming ceremonies, conscious uncoupling, divorce, birthdays, funerals and celebration of life ceremonies. I have led the inauguration ceremony for the Mayor of Godalming and annually lead the In Memory and Celebration of Life Ceremony for Wiltshire & Bath Air Ambulance. I am highly creative and adaptable and so please get in touch if you would like any kind of ceremony, because I am always happy to help.

Do you travel for ceremonies and are you available for destination weddings?

Yes. Please get in touch for a personalised quote.

I want to get married at home. Can I?

After completing your legalities, you can host your celebration ceremony anywhere you choose!

Do you work outdoors and in unlicensed venues?

Yes, I can work anywhere you'd like to host your ceremony - from hot air balloons, mountain tops to beaches, bars, boats and woodlands. Maybe you'd like to get married somewhere really important to you - like the place you first met, where the proposal happened or somewhere else truly special. Let's have a chat and explore these ideas further.

My family are religious and we’d like to respect this in the ceremony, but don’t want to marry in Church. Can we include religious or cultural traditions?

My ceremonies are created for you and can contain whatever you choose. If you would like religious readings, hymns, rituals or cultural traditions, this is absolutely fine by me. The day is about you and what you want. My job is to make it happen.

I have anxiety issues and hate being centre of attention. The thought of everyone looking at me terrifies me. What can we do?

There are lots of ways to help you feel more relaxed. We can explore different layouts of the ceremony space, how you arrive and where you stand or sit. In the ceremony, perhaps you’d like to involve your guests more so the ceremony is about them too. Because you have already completed the legalities with the registrar, you don’t have to say your vows, we can explore other options for this too. Have a read of my blog to find out more about top tips to stay calm on your Wedding Day.

Can I write my own vows?

Yes you can! I have guidance notes to help you get started which I'll happily send to you once we start planning. In the meantime, my blog will offer you some ideas. You can keep your vows a secret from one another until the day and I'll bring along copies to hand to you at the big moment. If you'd rather not write your own, I can write some for you, so they truly reflects you. You can either read them yourselves, repeat after me, or answer questions.

Do you offer a rehearsal before the ceremony?

If you would like a rehearsal before your ceremony, we can add this to your ceremony package. They usually happen the day (or a few days) before your wedding. Having a walkthrough and knowing where to stand, what to do and what's going to happen when can be very helpful. However, it's not essential and we can chat about whether this feels right for you.

We don't actually want to get legally married, but still want to have a ceremony. Can we?

There are many reasons why getting legally married or becoming civil partners is not right for everyone, but why shouldn't you still be able to stand up in front of your loved ones and say that you want to be together? A commitment or affirmation of love ceremony focuses on the strength of your relationship and love for one another and is a great choice for couples not wanting the formalities.

We’d like to involve our children so they feel part of the day. Can we do that?

Of course! There are so many ways we can do this! It may be as simple as them being in the entourage. Perhaps they would like to take part in a family unity ceremony, sing a song, do a reading or a dance. Maybe you’d like to make promises to the children too.

And our pets?

Most definitely! Your fur-babies are an important part of your lives and we can explore ways to involve them and help them feel relaxed on the day, so they can enjoy themselves too.

What happens if you're ill or can't conduct the ceremony?

Firstly, don't panic! I have a network of wonderful celebrants who I can get in touch with and ask to step in for me. On the very rare occasion this might happen, I will let you know as soon as I can.

If you are unable to make the ceremony, then we can postpone. I will conduct your ceremony on the new date if I am able, or I will recommend an alternative independent celebrant who can conduct your ceremony on my behalf.

What about extras?

Ceremony planning can sometimes leave you feeling out of control with add-ons and extra costs that you never expected. I will provide you with a personalised quote based and I will always be clear about anything that may be an additional cost.

Frequently asked questions answered!