How to Write and Deliver a Funeral Tribute: Guidance from a Professional Celebrant

Writing and delivering a tribute for someone you love can feel overwhelming. You’re grieving, and at the same time, you want to honour them with words that truly reflect their life, character, and your connection. Many people feel pressure to speak at a funeral or celebration of life, but often don’t know where to start—or how to express everything they want to say.

As an experienced independent funeral celebrant, I’ve supported many families and individuals through this process. This guide is here to help make a difficult moment feel a little less daunting, offering gentle guidance and practical tips for writing and delivering a heartfelt tribute

What’s the Difference Between a Eulogy, a Tribute, and an Open Letter?

Before you begin writing, it helps to understand the different forms a spoken tribute can take:

• Eulogy – A eulogy is a comprehensive reflection on a person’s life. It often includes details about their childhood, family, career, character, achievements, and legacy.

• Tribute – A tribute focuses on a particular part of the person’s life or a specific relationship. For example, a grandchild might speak about cherished memories with their grandparent, or a colleague might reflect on their professional life.

• Open Letter – This is a deeply personal expression of thanks or goodbye, often from a close loved one. It may include special memories, emotions, and thoughts on how their memory will be kept alive. Some people choose to have these read aloud, while others prefer to leave them with their loved one as a final private message.

This blog focuses on writing a tribute—because this is where many people feel unsure about tone, content, and how to keep their emotions in check when speaking.

Writing a tribute on a computer

Writing a Tribute: Where to Begin

Start with small steps. Think about stories, images, and moments that come to mind when you think of your loved one. What did they love? What made them laugh? What are the things you’ll always remember?

Try not to overthink it or attempt to say everything. The most engaging tributes focus on a few meaningful memories or anecdotes that illustrate the person’s life and personality.

A Gentle Tip: Watch Your “I”s

One of the most common challenges I see is when a tribute focuses too much on the speaker’s grief. That’s totally natural—but for the most powerful tribute, try to centre your words on the life lived, not just the loss felt.

After writing your draft, read it aloud and count how many times you say “I.” If that outweighs mentions of your loved one’s name or “they,” look for ways to shift the focus back to them.

Speaking at the Ceremony

Speaking about someone you’ve lost can be incredibly emotional—and that’s okay. You are allowed to show emotion. But if you’re worried about getting through it, here are some practical ways to support yourself:

Be Prepared

Please, don’t wing it. Even the most confident public speakers benefit from having clear notes. Writing your words down helps you stay focused and makes sure you don’t forget anything in the moment.

• Print your script in a large font with plenty of line spacing

• Keep it short and structured (around 5–10 minutes is ideal)

• Pace yourself: around 100–150 words per minute when reading aloud

Practise Aloud

Practising your tribute out loud—many times—makes a world of difference. It helps you get comfortable with the words, work through tricky emotional parts, and make small changes so the delivery feels natural.

You might find some sentences too hard to say aloud—and that’s okay. You can soften or rewrite them in a way that still feels true to you.

Have Water to Hand

Nerves can dry your mouth quickly. Have a glass of water nearby and don’t be afraid to pause and take a sip. It helps calm the nerves and gives you a moment to breathe

Working With a Funeral Celebrant or Officiant

If you’re speaking during a funeral, celebration of life, or memorial, the celebrant or officiant will usually ask for a copy of your tribute ahead of time. This allows them to:

• Plan the overall timing of the ceremony

• Introduce your tribute properly

• Step in to read it if you feel unable to on the day

• Bring a backup copy in case yours is forgotten

Don’t worry—they won’t judge or edit your words. Their role is to support you, not critique you.

Lit memorial candle in lantern with flowers

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone

Writing and delivering a tribute is a gift—not just to your loved one, but to everyone who hears it. You’re helping them see the person you knew, through your eyes.

If you’re unsure where to begin or want a guiding hand, I offer personalised tribute-writing support,

funeral ceremony planning, and bespoke consultation services. Whether you’re creating a traditional funeral, a celebration of life service, or a more intimate memorial, I can help you shape a ceremony that honours your loved one with warmth and care.

Please don’t hesitate to if you need support at any stage of the process.

Let’s honour their life—together.

Get in Touch

📧 [Emily.celebrant@gmail.com]

🌐 [emilycelebrant.com]

📞 [07507136280]