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Planning for the future - pre-arranging your funeral ceremony

Why do people pre-arrange their own funeral ceremony?


There are many reasons why people plan their own funeral ceremonies and they can do this at any time of their lives.  Some choose to do so to take the pressure off their families and friends by having made all the decisions already.  Often, they feel a sense of relief in knowing that this is something that they can do for their loved ones before they pass away.  In other cases, they may have no family or are estranged and so wish to have some peace of mind in knowing what is going to be included to ensure that they are remembered respectfully and in a manner they choose.


When I work alongside terminally ill clients, I have found that helping them arrange their own funeral ceremony provides them with a sense of control and ownership over their lives.  It allows them the opportunity to reflect back and share their memories with someone new once again.  Sometimes their families are present during the meetings and they hear stories about their loved-ones which they never knew before.  It can be a really heart-warming time of discovery.


Two people sharing a pot of tea and some cake
Relaxed funeral planning meeting

'You have put our minds at rest over a difficult situation! You filled me with confidence and I know … the whole thing will be handled really well with grace and charm’


What’s the process?


We will arrange a time for us to have an in-depth meeting to discuss, in detail, ideas for your ceremony.  We will talk about many things including music you may like, any readings, religious content, as well as your thoughts about contributions from other people.  I will ask you questions about your life and you can share stories and memories that are important to you and that you wish to share.  By working together, I will be able to create a ceremony that you are comfortable with and feel truly reflects you. 


Although this may sound daunting, people generally find the process enjoyable because they are reminiscing about their lives and achievements so far.  It gives them the chance to look back on how far they have come.


If you are unsure about certain elements (such as music, readings or memorial acts), that’s absolutely fine. Afterwards, I will send you some ideas that I think you may like which you can read through at your leisure.


After we meet, I will create a draft copy of your ceremony, including all the elements we have discussed.  You may wish to make some tweaks and I encourage you to do this; after all, you are the expert of you and I want everything to be just right.

Burning incense in front of a memory box
Funeral Memorial Acts


You have been very helpful, and your latest email was extremely so, I shall recommend your services in the event that anyone I know is in need of them in the future.’


What happens then?


Once you are happy with your ceremony script, I will send you a final copy to keep somewhere safe - perhaps with your Will.  If you are working with a funeral director to pre-plan your funeral, I will liaise with them so they have a copy on file too.


In the future, you may wish to add or amend parts of your ceremony and I can update your ceremony script when need be, ensuring that the most recent copy is on file with your funeral director as well.


Who will conduct my ceremony?


I will endeavour to be the celebrant who conducts your ceremony.  However, depending when in the future this may be, I can’t guarantee my availability. If I am unable to conduct your ceremony, I will help find a suitable celebrant to deliver your agreed script for you. 


If you prefer, I offer just a writing option, where I create your ceremony for someone else to deliver.  This is something we can talk about when we meet as well.


Why should I pre-arrange my funeral ceremony?


To give you peace of mind and confidence in knowing that you will be remembered as the person you are and not who others say you are.  It allows you control over this final act, enabling your loved ones to celebrate your life and say goodbye, comforted in knowing that your wishes have been met.


‘It’s perfect, thank you.’


Interested in learning more?


If you have any questions about pre-arranging your funeral ceremony, please do get in touch.  Either call me on:




Or drop me an email:



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