From booze to loos, how to plan a wedding at home - Independent Celebrant Advice

Thinking of hosting your wedding at home? As an Independent Celebrant, I love creating ceremonies that feel completely and gloriously you; and nowhere does that better than at home.

There is something incredibly special about hosting a wedding at home. Whether it is your own garden, the family farm, or the house you grew up in, familiar surroundings bring an instant sense of comfort. You can make the day as relaxed, meaningful, quirky or elegant as you like and there is no Cinderella moment as you rush to hand the venue back at midnight.

It is a dream for many couples. But, as with most dreams, there are a few practical details to consider. The good news? It’ll be absolutely worth it.

Bride and groom smiling as they walk down the aisle and are showered in confetti during a woodland ceremony on their family farm. Photo courtesy of Emma Chandler Photography

Start with your wedding guest list

Before ordering anything, work out roughly how many people you would like to invite. Your guest numbers shape almost every practical decision: seating, catering, parking, toilets, drinks, shelter and the size of your ceremony space.

An intimate gathering of 20 has very different needs to a garden wedding for 120.  Knowing your numbers early will help you plan accurately and save you from too many changes later.

Have a weather-proof Plan B

An outdoor wedding at home can be magical, but we all know what British weather is like...

Rain, wind and blazing heat can all make guests uncomfortable, so make sure there is a genuinely usable back-up plan. Depending on your numbers, that might be your house, a barn, a tipi, a marquee or another covered space.

If you do need to move indoors, it should feel like an easy change of scene, not a scramble. Clear the cobwebs, hide the rusty lawnmower, add some lighting and make the space feel welcoming. You may not use it, but you will be very glad it is there if you do.

You may like to give guests fans (I’ve seen some lovely order of services designed as fans which are very effective) and think about water stations on hot days.  Ponchos and plastic heel guards are a good shout when it’s rainy and wet underfoot.

A intimate wedding ceremony held in a small marquee, within the garden of a family home. Sheltered from the rain, guests look on as the bride and groom embrace, whilst I deliver their bespoke wedding ceremony. Photo courtesy of Sarah Williams Photography

The legal bit: getting married at home in England and Wales

Currently, in England and Wales, a private home cannot generally be approved for a legal civil marriage ceremony.  There are limited exceptions, such as when someone is housebound or seriously ill.  This isn’t a problem though.  It just means that many couples choose to have a ‘paperwork day’, completing the legal paperwork separately at their local register office, often with just two witnesses present.  You may hear these small, statutory ceremonies called ‘two-by-twos’.

Then, on your wedding day at home, with your guests, you can have the ceremony you really want: personal vows, favourite music, stories, laughter, family involvement, religious and cultural elements, symbolic rituals – whatever wonderful things you choose!  An independent celebrant (like me) will create and lead a ceremony that is a true reflection of you, without the restrictions of a legal civil ceremony.

For the latest legal guidance, speak to your local registration service or visit the government Marriages and Civil Partnership webpage.

Seating: comfort matters more than you think

Seating is often a big question for couples planning a DIY wedding.  Do you go for dressed chairs, benches, hay bales, picnic blankets or a ‘bring your own camping chair’ approach? There is no wrong answer.  It depends entirely on the atmosphere you want to create.

One thing I do recommend though is that guests sit during the ceremony.  Standing still for any length of time is surprisingly tiring, especially for older guests, small children, or anyone wearing very optimistic shoes(!).  Seating helps everyone relax, focus on the moment and gives your ceremony the importance it deserves.

Guests seated on hay bales which are covered in bright blankets as they watch an outdoor ceremony

Let’s talk about loos

Not the most glamorous part of wedding planning, but loos are very important to the smooth running of your day.

For a small, intimate wedding, using the house may be absolutely fine. But if you have 100 guests in the garden, you may not fancy a constant parade through your hallway.

There are some lovely, luxury portable toilets available now, including shepherd’s-hut-style options with proper cubicles, sinks and mirrors.  Very civilised!

Do also think about accessibility. Many portable loos have steps, which can be difficult for guests with limited mobility.  I once had to negotiate four metal steps and an outward-opening door whilst on crutches. Let’s just say it was a very challenging wee… Accessible toilets can be hired, and it is worth planning this early, so every guest can relax and enjoy the day comfortably.

Drinks: enough choice for everyone

Weddings and booze often go hand in hand, but remember that not everyone drinks alcohol and the amount of alcohol-free options available now means that there is something for everyone.  Sparkling tea is one of my recent favourites.  It is a bit unusual, feels celebratory, tastes gorgeous and makes a lovely option for a toast.

If you are supplying your own drinks, a useful starting point is to allocate two drinks per guest for the first hour, followed by one drink per guest for each hour after that.  Always air on the side of caution though.  It’s better to have too much than to run out!

You could also hire a mobile bar with staff.  It takes some pressure off you and looks brilliant.  Some will even create your signature cocktail, which can be weaved into your ceremony.  Do get in touch if you’re interested in hearing how!

Smiling bar staff at The Moody Mare mobile event bar, with a selection of drink behind him

Consider bringing in a wedding planner

A home wedding gives you incredible freedom, but there is a lot of work to be done behind the scenes. You might love the idea of project-managing every detail, or you might already be wondering if this is going to turn out like a bad episode of ‘The Apprentice’.

A wedding planner can support you in different ways.  Planning everything from the start, stepping in a few months before the day, or simply taking charge on the day itself.  Their experience can help you avoid last-minute stresses and free you up to enjoy the celebration you have worked so hard to create.

Make your home wedding ceremony completely yours

A wedding at home is about creating a day that lets you be you.  It should feel personal, relaxed and your ceremony should reflect this too.

As an independent celebrant, I create bespoke, heart-felt and fun wedding ceremonies for couples who want to celebrate their individuality, their togetherness and their love.  So, if you are planning a wedding at home and want a ceremony that fits beautifully into your day, I would love to hear from you.